Mom died last month, and this is the first day I have felt strong enough to begin writing about her. I want to share her life with people, because we had such wonderful stories to tell at her wake. Mom received an excellent education--she was the first Grandchild of Irish immigrants to graduate from College ( and her Parents were proud, but being good Irish Americans, never told her) She then earned a Masters' Degree in Speech Education from Teachers' College, Columbia University.
As you can imagine, Mom was a very articulate woman, but rarely made declarative statements. She had been imbued with the Socratic Method, perhaps by the Ursuline Sisters at the College of New Rochelle, and chose to ask a question, rather than make a direct remark. The title of this blog is Mom's pet phrase whenever she saw a bug, and wanted to tell you " is that what I think it is?" Her daughters would look at the offending object and either say 'yes' or 'no'. It was far simpler to say 'yes' because in her later years, if you said it was not a bug, she would want to argue the point all afternoon.
My Dad, Bob Michaels, was also subjected to Mom's Socratic Method, although there was never anything methodical in the way she applied it. On car rides, she would ask ' did you see that truck?" and he would answer ' well, I didn't hit it, did I?" Or, she would be sitting next to Dad in the front seat, and remark 'Bob, do we have to go this fast?". He usually fibbed and said he was not speeding. Mom just did not like coming to the point of anything, feeling that aggression was a sign of being lower class, and unladylike.
Even her driving was indirect. Mom would only make right hand turns, and wherever she went, it had to be by way of 83rd Street in Bay Ridge, because that was the only street with a traffic light. We would even travel to Massachusetts or Vermont by way of 83rd Street. It was Mom's own Appian Way, or the Great North Road. As a college student, I dubbed her 'Betty Euclid' as a sarcastic reference to the rule that a straight line was the shortest distance between two points. Mom would never have taken a straight line or direction if her life depended on it. When we took our family vacation to Ireland in 1976, I'm surprised she did not make the Limo driver head to JFK by way of 83rd Street.
As Mom aged, I would often accompany her to the doctors' office. Once , she had an appointment with her orthopedic surgeon, for a check up after hip surgery. Dr. W asked her "Mrs. Michaels, how far do you walk every day?" and she replied to the effect that she did not know. He asked 'Can you walk 5 blocks?" and she said " Oh, I could never walk that far" to which he snapped " I did not ask how far you couldn't walk; I asked how far you could. Your answers are vague, indefinite and not at all helpful. ( at that point, I bit the inside of my cheek so I would not laugh aloud--Dr. W was English, and reminded me of Simon Cowell. I don't think he got a concrete answer from her)
I do miss her, but know Mom had a good life, and is at peace in the next life.
