Mom's 25 year marriage to my Dad was an important part of her life, and I can't write about her without writing about that. My Parents had a good, balanced relationship, based on mutual respect, a common background, and a sharp sense of humor. Dad had a more quiet character, but could make his opinions known with a few well chosen words, or a raised eyebrow. Mom was far more flamboyant and emotional, but even she could be stopped in her tracks by a look from Dad.
At times, I saw Dad ( "Bob") as George Burns or Ricky Ricardo to Mom's Gracie Allen or Lucy. He was the straight man, and Mom was the comic. Mom could get herself in some terrible situations, and Dad had to come to her rescue. One night, after we children were in bed, Dad fell asleep on the sofa, and Mom decided to go into the basement, and pull lint out of the dryer. Instead, she got her arm stuck in the lint tube at the rear of the dryer. She called, and called, and her sleeping husband finally heard her, and came down to see Mom laying on the basement floor, with her arm in the dryer. He suggested calling the Fire Department, but Mom, having the lace curtain Irish fear of publicity, refused. So, he got the next door neighbor, Mr. Navarro, who was a mechanic, and used a bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil to get Mom's arm free.
Give Mom credit for telling the story on herself. I also give Dad props for not laughing at her. Dad usually defused her anxities about children or pets with a well placed quip. When Mom and Dad rented a house in Monmouth Beach, NJ, we brought along our Beagle, Sniffy. One Sunday afternoon, as we came back from Mass, Sniffy ran out the front door, and raced down the street. She returned within ten minutes, proudly carrying a box of pizza in her mouth. Mom was horrified, and I heard her say to Dad " Oh, Bob, the neighbors will say 'those awful people from New York City don't feed their dog--she has to steal food". Dad replied 'Not when they get a second look at her" Sniffy was very plump, from getting fed our unwanted dinners, and stealing cookies from my younger Sister, who was only 4 that Summer.
Humor was the key to their marriage. They could make each other laugh. Mom once told the story of being a very young Mother, and complaining passionately to Dad " and I'm sick of being the perfect wife and mother", to which he said in a deadpan voice " who said you were perfect? I never did". Lucky for him that Mom thought it funny, and burst out laughing.
Another time, when I was in high school, and reading a translation of the Orestia, I asked my parents if they ever read it. Mom said "when I attended New Rochelle (college) I read the Gilbert Murray translation." Dad said a bit pompously " at Holy Cross, I read it in the original language" to which Mom said sweetly "yes, dear, but I understood what I was reading". Game set and match for Betty.
She was devastated when he died in 1979--from an inoperable brain tumor. She missed him, and it must have been painful to have the years pass, see two of her daughters marry, have children. I'm glad they are together in Heaven, making each other laugh.
At times, I saw Dad ( "Bob") as George Burns or Ricky Ricardo to Mom's Gracie Allen or Lucy. He was the straight man, and Mom was the comic. Mom could get herself in some terrible situations, and Dad had to come to her rescue. One night, after we children were in bed, Dad fell asleep on the sofa, and Mom decided to go into the basement, and pull lint out of the dryer. Instead, she got her arm stuck in the lint tube at the rear of the dryer. She called, and called, and her sleeping husband finally heard her, and came down to see Mom laying on the basement floor, with her arm in the dryer. He suggested calling the Fire Department, but Mom, having the lace curtain Irish fear of publicity, refused. So, he got the next door neighbor, Mr. Navarro, who was a mechanic, and used a bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil to get Mom's arm free.
Give Mom credit for telling the story on herself. I also give Dad props for not laughing at her. Dad usually defused her anxities about children or pets with a well placed quip. When Mom and Dad rented a house in Monmouth Beach, NJ, we brought along our Beagle, Sniffy. One Sunday afternoon, as we came back from Mass, Sniffy ran out the front door, and raced down the street. She returned within ten minutes, proudly carrying a box of pizza in her mouth. Mom was horrified, and I heard her say to Dad " Oh, Bob, the neighbors will say 'those awful people from New York City don't feed their dog--she has to steal food". Dad replied 'Not when they get a second look at her" Sniffy was very plump, from getting fed our unwanted dinners, and stealing cookies from my younger Sister, who was only 4 that Summer.
Humor was the key to their marriage. They could make each other laugh. Mom once told the story of being a very young Mother, and complaining passionately to Dad " and I'm sick of being the perfect wife and mother", to which he said in a deadpan voice " who said you were perfect? I never did". Lucky for him that Mom thought it funny, and burst out laughing.
Another time, when I was in high school, and reading a translation of the Orestia, I asked my parents if they ever read it. Mom said "when I attended New Rochelle (college) I read the Gilbert Murray translation." Dad said a bit pompously " at Holy Cross, I read it in the original language" to which Mom said sweetly "yes, dear, but I understood what I was reading". Game set and match for Betty.
She was devastated when he died in 1979--from an inoperable brain tumor. She missed him, and it must have been painful to have the years pass, see two of her daughters marry, have children. I'm glad they are together in Heaven, making each other laugh.
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